It has been 10 months ago today that we had to say goodbye to Donovan.  So many people said that time would heal….how much time?  Time has not healed.  I still love and miss him so much, probably more than ever.  Yes, I can talk about him without bursting into tears and I can smile when I think of funny things he did.  Not many people knew him well enough to know that he was also a very funny dog.  He loved to play with his sqeauky ball, esp. right when we were starting a movie.  He seemed quite pleased with himself that he could bite that toy and make a loud sound which seemed to irritate everyone but him and I!!  I would laugh so much when he did that!!  He did the silliest thing we called “rabies”.  He would just start snarling and barking for no reason while he would rub his head on his bed and we would tell him he looked crazy and that he had rabies.  The more we laughed, the more he did it!!  He was a true friend and family member in every sense of the word!!  Our family has felt his loss so terribly.  Sometimes, we think we should get another dog, cause we miss the companionship, but our expectations are very, very high!!  How can another dog ever be everything that Donovan was; a friend, a son, a brother, a loyal and faithful companion that gave every bit of unconditional love that he could in his almost 8 years of life??  I guess we will know when the time is right.  There is a place in my heart that is always for Donovan and he took a piece of it with him when he left.  I have poured my heart out on this website created for him and sometimes I wonder who comes to read these words, maybe I should not share my thoughts with other people.  Bottom line is that this site is to honor Donovan and the more people that read about him, the better.  I would have liked for more people to sign the guestbook instead of just reading the blogs, but in the end, I know who cares and who does not!!  So, on this day, I say, “I love you Donovan”.  I always have and I always will.  The honeysuckle that I planted in the front garden is growing nicely and when I smell the sweet fragrance, it reminds me of our morning walks at the park.  I miss our walks so much!!  I miss your friendship and your greetings at the door when I came home!  Time has not healed, it just has kept going…..

 Love Always,

Momma

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Again, I too ask myself why?  Why did you have to leave us Donovan?  A family that adored you and you adored them!!  9 months?  I don’t like that!  You weren’t supposed to leave us so early, you still had work to do here.  You still had love to give and receive, walks to go on, raw hides to eat, belly rubs to be had, tug-o-wars, popcorn to eat and most importantly, BBQ’s to pig out on!  Looking back on some old backyard photos at our new house, even if you weren’t in the picture, your blanket was.  We always made sure you had a soft spot to lay on!!  Your sister Jessica and I drove by a house yesterday and saw a dog in a crap whole of a front yard, all dirt and dead grass, sweltering in the 90 degree heat and he just looked miserable, unloved, uncared for.  You would’ve been in the living room on your huge ass bed with a gazillion fans on you!!  I know you only had 7 years with us, but I hope you know we poured everything we had into those 7 years for you!!  I don’t think we missed more than 2 walks in those 7 years!!  We always made sure you got to go sniff and strut your stuff!  I miss you Donovan, you were and always will be “My Boy”!!!  I love you and as usual, I have to go, I’m crying and it’s hard to type when your crying! 

Love, Poppa!

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It has been 9 months today since we said goodbye to you Donovan.  I will never forget September 21st, 2007…the day my heart was broken!  I think about you each and everyday and I miss you and love you more than ever.  I think the thing that has changed, is that I have just come to accept that this is how I will be feeling, maybe forever.  I go through each day and I live life.  I love my family and I am grateful for them, but there is just a sadness in my heart that can’t heal.  I can still cry so easily at the thought of you.  The therapy dog at work, Dakota, was very sick recently and he was at the same vet where you were, even in the same cage there, the one at the end for large dogs.  I remember getting into the cage with you and sitting next to you , trying to comfort you and get you to eat.  I wanted to take you home from there so bad.  Dakota had surgery and got better, thank God.  I am so happy for him and his family, but my heart broke again and I asked God, why he spared Dakota and not you?  You were a wonderful part of this family and brought so much joy, love and happiness to us all.  You were my best friend and we all need and love you so much.  Why did you have to get sick and leave us?  All I can do now is hope that you are in a wonderful place and that you will be there waiting for me when it is my turn to go.  Anyway, I love you, as always.  I feel funny sometimes writing to you here, as if you are listening to me, but I need to think that you are still with me in some way.  I hope that when/if other people read this, they can understand, at least a little, what you mean to me and how painful this loss is for me and your whole family. 

 Love Always, Momma

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Donovan….

I miss you, I miss you a lot….you are my boy!!  I’ve accepted the fact that you are no longer here, I get that, but every once in awhile it really hits me…….you’re gone!!  It’s really funny that I was never really a dog person, I was more of a cat person.  I never had a dog growing up, it was always cats.  You changed all that.  Slinky & Taz are here and they are great and all, but it’s not you!!  You were some kind of special being Donovan.  You always had love to give and you always gave it.  You went from a stubborn little puppy into a loving, caring, sweet, good natured, well mannered dog…..we couldn’t have asked for more!!  I love you Donovan still to this day and I miss you terribly!!  You will always be in my heart and currently, a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. 

I gotta go…..

I love you boy!!

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Donovan,

This was my first Mother’s Day without you in 8 years.  I missed having you greet me at the door when I got home from work.  I always do, but to not have it on Mother’s Day was especially painful and sad.  I am your momma and you are my child just as if you were human, no matter what anybody says!!  The loss and pain is that I feel is so deep and never seems to go away.  I like to think that you were looking down upon me yesterday from some beautiful place, wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day and sending me a kiss and a hug, until we can be together again.  Poppa hung a picture of Brandon and Jessica on the wall right behind your ashes.  When I look at your ashes, I can see the picture there right above you, like they are looking over you, they are close by you.  I love you Donovan and I wish with all of my heart that you could be here with us right now, just like always.  It’s not the same without you and I miss you so much.

 Love Always,  Momma

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Mr. D….it’s a hot one today, not a day you would’ve enjoyed, but you would’ve enjoyed tonight.  I’m BBQ’n teriyaki chicken sammiches and you know damn well that last chicken breast was yours!!  I am really missing you at this time of year, well anytime of year really, but BBQ season….yikes!!  I love you Donovan and I’ll toast my sammich to you tonight!!

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This is the headstone that is in Donovan’s Memorial Garden.  He is not buried in the garden, but we put a memorial headstone there anyway.   If you can see the writing on it, it says it all.

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We made a memorial garden for Donovan.  We first made it about 4 months ago, but recently decided that we did not like the way it looked, it was not good enough to honor Donovan the way we wanted to.  So, this weekend, we pulled up everything.  There was so much ice plant in there that it filled a huge trash can!  Yesterday, Brandon and I went to Home Depot and bought new plants for the garden.  This time, I planted 2 Birds of Paradise, an Australian Fern Tree, some Clivia and the purple Lantana is still there from before.  I also have two orchids to plant when they are a bit bigger, one is red and one is orange.  It looks so much better and has a tropical theme.  We also have a angel dog statue, two wind chimes, a headstone and a couple of garden stones out there too.  This is all to pay tribute to an irreplacable member of our family.  We are all missing him so much and I continue to feel as though I am walking through my life with a piece of my heart gone, always feeling like something is just wrong and different.  I know that Donovan was a once in a lifetime friend and companion and truly the smartest and most loving and joyous dog that I have ever known.  I usually say that he was so human like, but, in a way that is not true, cause he was actually better than most humans!  With animals, there is never all of the drama and stuff that goes along with human relationships.  It is just love, joy, friendship and undying loyalty and acceptance.  I miss his love and friendship everyday, just as a bird would miss flying in the sky or a fish would miss the sea. 

 Deneen

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Dear Mr. D,

      I still can’t believe that it has been 6 months since we had to say goodbye to you.  You are still so much a part of me and in my thoughts that at times it feels like you are still with us, but I know you are not!  We just came back from visiting Las Vegas……a sore spot as the last time we went you didn’t have a good stay at the PetSmart Hotel.  I got to play with your friend Ringo and it was nice to play with a dog again, but it wasn’t you and it just didn’t feel right.  I’m supposed to be still playing with you and doing stuff with you.  I miss you a ton Donovan and I know I always will.  You can’t make the type of impact that you did on a family…….US…..and not be thought about all the time.  We just got your bears back that we had made out of one of your favorite blankets and we all just love them.  It stays in bed with me!! : (             I love & miss you Donovan….

Love, Poppa!!

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What the hell Donovan!?!?!?  I didn’t think it would be this hard to BBQ without you Mr. D!!  I guess I was wrong.  I BBQ’d some salmon tonight and I was fine the whole time I was out in the backyard .  I was cleaning the pool, drinking a beer, maybe a cocktail or 3, but I really thought I was okay.  I was…….until I brought the food out.   You would’ve thought I never cried before.  As soon as I brought the salmon out, I was a blubbering idiot!! I kept picturing you there and hanging out with us by the pool or running in from the front yard.  Bottom line is:  You weren’t there,  Talk about suck ass BBQ’n,,,,,,I may have had a good buzz going, but it couldn’t mask the pain I was feeling.  I really loved you Donovan and I always will, it is just so hard at BBQ season, I don’t know if I can handle it!! Hopefully I will, because summer is right around the corner and I know how much you loved being out in the backyard with us!! !! I love you Donovan!!!

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